I can’t tell you the number of times that one spouse is surprised when the other spouse declares that he or she wants a divorce or is just unsatisfied in the marriage. Checking in with each other on a regular basis is one way to keep the communication open, correct any issues before they get larger, and let your spouse know how much you care.
The Love Tank
Every person needs to feel loved. From the time that you are a little baby, you have an instinctive need to be close to someone and to feel loved and cared for. It is just a part of human nature, despite anyone who may tell you that they don’t need anyone. They may be surviving but not thriving. Is your spouse feeling loved? Different people have different ways of showing love and different ways that they respond to love.
One great way to make sure that your spouse feels loved is to simply ask, “Do you feel loved?” If you are too embarrassed by such a forthright question, you can develop a code word, such as checking in on the love tank. You can tell your spouse that your love tank is feeling a little low, or ask your spouse about the state of his or her love tank. Use whatever terminology that you want, but fins some way to communicate about this.
Spontaneous Sex
Check in frequently to make sure that the level of sexual activity is satisfactory for both of you. Just because you find your spouse taking care of the bills in the evening or doing a load of laundry doesn’t mean that they wouldn’t rather be making love. Just ask.
While having a regular date night is a great idea, don’t forget about the joy of spontaneity. Surprising your spouse after the kids go to bed, early in the morning before everyone else is awake, or even just coming home early from work unexpectedly to squeeze in some time for each other can be a powerful way of letting your spouse know that you really desire him or her.
Mary Ann Romans writes about everything related to saving money in the Frugal Blog, creating a home in the Home Blog, caring for little ones in the Baby Blog and now relationships in the Marriage Blog. You can read more of her articles by clicking here.
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