As single parents, we often put so much energy into our families, and work so hard to counter-balance some of the realities of being a solo-parent family, that our entire identity can get completely encompassed by parenthood. I am the first person to admit that I put my family first and have a tendency to think of myself as a mom above all else. But, the truth is, I am ME first, and I do fill a lot of other roles and wear a lot of other hats besides my “mom hat.” The most important thing, I’ve learned, is that I have to cherish myself as an individual first, and work to keep my own personal identity separate from that of mother (or at least not completely wrapped up in that definition.)
Since many of us single parents don’t have a partner or another significant adult to help us see ourselves as something other than MOM–it can be tough. We know we have to be “on” twenty-four hours a day to meet our children’s needs, take care of a family, raise the funds to support everyone, manage a household, etc. Especially when our children are young, it can be tough to find the time just to read a chapter of a grown-up book we’ve chosen! Don’t give up, though. It is incredibly important that we single parents figure out how to cherish and nurture ourselves as individual people–a person with dreams, likes, dislikes, goals, vulnerabilities, etc. BEYOND that of being a parent. We were a person before we had kids, and even the best parent in the world is an individual person outside their role as parent. No one else is going to just hand you that self-love, you are going to have to do it for yourself and that means cherishing yourself first and foremost.
Also: Let’s Talk About Loneliness
Boost Your Single Parent Confidence