Although I think there is a lot to be said for temperament and personality, there are still plenty of character traits that can be learned. I believe that kindness is one of those traits that a person is not necessarily born with, but can be taught and socialized. If we want our children to be kind and caring individuals, there are things we can do to help foster that…
It might help to think about how kindness is NOT an innate expression in other living creatures. In fact, in the animal world, it is all about survival and kindness is not necessarily a survival technique. How many of us have been “bitten” by our kindness and wondered why even bother? After all, just being nice to someone does not ensure that they will be nice in return. So, being considerate and kind is something that we need to teach our children and I think since it does go against our very “survival instincts”—it takes a lifetime of work to foster and nurture kindness!
Focus on the basics—manners, empathy, patience, sharing, taking turns—these all seem to be some of the most rudimentary lessons of childhood, but they are so important. Haven’t you met plenty of adults who are still struggling with these? Think of road rage, impatient people in line, rude retail clerks, etc. By modeling kind behavior in these areas, we can influence our children and let them know what sort of behavior is tolerable and expected. As parents, we tend to go for the big lessons like charity and going out of our way to do something nice for someone (giving to the poor, taking food to the homeless, etc.). While these can be good and important lessons, our children can often learn kindness just from focusing on those every day opportunities to be considerate, caring, and kind to the ordinary people we come in contact with.
Also: Teaching Your Children Kindness
What is Happening to Common Kindness?