As someone who regularly deals with children and their families, I often hear the same complaints:
“They don’t listen when I tell them to do something.”
“I can’t get them to obey.”
“I’m doing everything right–disciplining for disobedience, praising for the good–and still I see no progress.”
My disclaimer here is that if you are having trouble with your child–these couple of blogs won’t fix your problems. But I recently went to a parenting seminar and I want to pass along some things that were shared that struck home with me.
Ephesians 6:1 “Children obey your parents. . .”
One of the first Scriptures that we have our children memorize is Ephesians 6:1. They need to understand that our requirement of obedience for them wasn’t our idea. Oh sure, it makes my life easier, and everything runs more smoothly when all of our children are obedient. However, I (or daddy) was not the one who decided children should obey their parents–it was God’s idea. Therefore, since it was God’s idea–we’re going to follow it.
I think that because obedience makes our life easier, we tend to dwell on it. We have rules. The rules have to be followed, and when they’re not there’s a consequence. It’s simple, it’s neat, and it’s doable. It’s the next part of that passage we struggle with. . .
Ephesians 6:4 “Fathers do not exacerbate your children. . .”
Now let’s think about this. Anytime my 2 year old wants something, and I say no, she is exacerbated. She’s mad, she gives me the evil eye, and she might. . .even. . .stomp her foot. That’s why it’s important to read the rest of the verse. . .”instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.”
You see, it’s not just about rules and consequences although a situation without those things is likely to cause issues. It’s about a growing relationship. . .not with our children. . .but with God. In my next blog. . .I’ll talk more about Ephesians 6:4.
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Valorie Delp writes about all things cooking and eating related over in the food blog, educating your children in homeschooling blog, and current news, information and general anecdotes in the baby blog! You can read more of her articles here.