“Does being a grown-up mean you’ve outgrown child’s play?” This question was posed in the Summer 2006 issue of Wondertime. The article espoused the benefits of playing with your kids. I play all the time with Tyler, I thought. Then it occurred to me that sometimes when we are playing I am not being as attentive as I should be. In doing so, I am not reaping all the benefits of this special bonding time.
When Tyler was a baby, I was certainly more attentive. I watched his every move checking to see how he was developing. I delighted in everything he did. As he got older, I continued to play with him but became less attentive. At times, I was tired. Being a single mom there’s no rest for the weary. Other times I was simply bored. Vroom, vroom, vroom. How many times can I push this little truck down the hall before my eyeballs pop out?
Lately, my inattentiveness has been due to always having other things on my mind. There’s this deadline I need to make and that query I need to send out. And oh, did I sign the permission slip so that Tyler can go on a field trip to the movies? Do I really want to chaperone said field trip? Is Winn-Dixie having a sale on tangerines? You get the point.
When we play with our kids we should be there physically and mentally- 100% of the time. If you can’t give them your undivided attention, it’s best to wait until until you can. In most cases 30-minute chunks of time is all you need to keep most kids happy. I find that Tyler is perfectly content when I give him 30 minutes to an hour of focused attention. And I have found that when I am focused on whatever we are doing together I leave the session feeling more relaxed and refreshed than before. I have found that I especially like coloring- something I hated as a child. I also have been able to introduce Tyler to games from my own childhood. Recently, I found a pocket-sized version of Simon and we’ve had a blast playing it.
So play with your kids every day, but make sure you give them your undivided attention when you do.
See also:
How Do You Want To Be Remembered?
An Easy Solution To Attention-seeking Behavior