No one should ever have to give birth alone. Whether it is a husband, a mother, a sister, a doula or a friend present – the importance of a personal labor support person is paramount. Labor is scary at times and the pain can make it difficult to speak or think clearly. The new mother needs someone to voice her concerns when she cannot and comfort her when she is feeling distressed, tired or scared.
When you are choosing someone to go into the delivery process with you, think about the way you think they’ll respond under pressure. Will they remain calm? Will they be able to keep their composure when things get a little graphic? Choose someone who will be able to keep the mood in the room relaxed and stress-free. You should also try to choose someone who shares your views on childbirth. If they don’t support you in your decision to have a medication free birth, for example, they may not encourage you to continue when you’re in a lot of pain. They may suggest medication when you are most likely to give in, and you may regret it later if it was very important to you.
Once you choose someone to attend your birth and assist you with the delivery process, spend some time sharing your ideas about what an ideal birth looks like with them. Share your birth plan and beliefs about everything from induction to pain relief to what to do with the cord. Make sure they understand your wishes so they can clearly articulate them when you are unable to do so.
Also take the time to practice pain management techniques. Not every woman likes massage and not every woman needs a pep talk. Some women simply want a hand to hold and silence. Whatever your preferences are, make plans for how your labor support person will assist you during labor. The middle of a contraction is not the time to be giving instructions!
If you want to have a little fun, get your labor support person a special t-shirt, badge or hat to wear. It will make them look “official” and it will be cute for pictures!