What things should you consider in choosing which type of adoption (domestic infant adoption, state child welfare system adoption, or international adoption) is right for you?
(Note: each of these three main types of adoption is described in a blog posted by me earlier this week.)
Here are some suggested things to think about:
1.What age child do you wish to adopt?
2.What special needs might you be willing to work with?
3.Would you consider siblings?
4.How comfortable are you with the idea of meeting the birthparent(s)? With ongoing contact?
5.How would children of different races be accepted by your extended family and community? Would there be role models of the child’s race or culture?
6.How much uncertainty can you handle? Are you willing to consider foster-adoption? A birthparent who might change their mind during the pregnancy? A country just beginning to work with the US to place children for adoption?
7.Are you willing to travel? How much time can you take off work?
8.Do you have other children? Does that affect your ability to travel and for how long? What would be the impact on them of a sibling close in age? Of a sibling with special needs that demand a great deal of parental attention and/or may be lifelong? What would be the impact on them if you take a foster child who is later removed from your home? Would they be a positive role model for a younger sibling or would they be negatively influenced by an older sibling who had emotional issues?
9.Do you have a support system of extended family or friends that can provide respite for you and additional love and stability for your children?
10.Do you live in a community with resources for special education/early intervention/counseling?
11.What is your financial situation? Don’t automatically rule out an adoption option because of fees, but be aware of whether it is a major factor for you. Also consider how much your insurance covers medical and psychological treatment. Child-welfare system adoptions sometimes have subsidies available even after adoption to care for children’s special needs. This will usually be unavailable in private infant adoption or international adoption.
12.Finally, as you read or hear stories of people with different types of adoptions, how do you feel? While initial concerns may change with information, many people report feeling drawn to one type of adoption, or negative feelings toward an aspect of one type. Some people prefer the uncertainty of a foreign country’s process to that of waiting to be chosen by a birthmother. Others feel the opposite. Pay attention to your mind, but also check out what your heart is saying—and the shrinking or glad feeling in the pit of your stomach.
Please see related blogs:
Different Countries have Different Criteria for Adoption
Why We Chose International Adoption