When I was a child my father’s cousin and his wife were killed in a car accident. They left behind five children. Luckily they had a written will that named their children’s guardian, an aunt and uncle that lived in the same town. If not their children would have become wards of the state and most likely separated. As a parent we never know when tragedy might strike. It is important that we have prepared for and secured our child’s future.
Choosing a guardian for your child is a big decision. Many people choose family members, but friends are also an option. My parents chose some close friends who could not have children of their own. We would get together with them every few months so that we were comfortable
with them. After I got married my parents changed their will so if they died my younger siblings would go to my husband and I.
Obviously no one wants someone else raising their children but since sometimes you don’t have that choice there are a number of factors that you should consider when choosing a guardian:
Parenting Style
Do you and your guardian choice have the same parenting style? Do you have similar views on child discipline, education, family rules, rewards, and work? Does the mother stay home or work outside the home? How happy are their children? Do you trust them to raise your children?
Religion
For many people religion is an important part of their lives. Do you and your guardian practice the same religion? If so do you practice it at the same level, meaning do you attend church every week and they are less regular churchgoers? If not, does it matter to you if your child is exposed to a different religion or none at all?
Number of Children
How many children do you have? How many children does your guardian choice have? If you have a large number of children and your guardian choice does also, it can make things difficult. My relatives who died left their five children to a family that also had five children. This created a very large family. It worked for them, but for many people ten children would be incredibly overwhelming.
Guardian’s Marriage
Is their marriage good? Do they communicate? If there is a possibility of divorce choose someone else. Your children will have gone through enough upheaval without adding the dissolution of another family.
Financial Situation
Adding children to a family can be stressful on the finances. Even if you have life insurance it can go quickly. Your child’s guardian will most likely need to move to a larger house and get a larger vehicle. Make sure that adding your children to their family will not make a difficult financial situation worse.
Health
Consider the health of your child’s guardian. My sister had named my husband and I guardian of her two children until my husband was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis. Because of the uncertainty of the disease she changed guardianship to one of my younger siblings.
Location
Your child will have a hard enough time dealing with the loss of their parents. Being forced to change schools, make new friends, and live in a new house only compounds those losses. If possible choose guardians that live close. So your child can still attend the same school and associate with the same friends.
Make sure you check with the people you have chosen to be your child’s guardian before writing it into your will. Accepting guardianship of someone else’s children is a big step as well. In the event that you did die it would change their family dynamics drastically.
After choosing a guardian make sure that your children are familiar with the person. Spend time with them as a family. Talk to your children and let them know whom they will live with if something happens to you.
Most likely nothing will ever happen to you, but it is always best to be prepared.