While there are those few couples that have the same clutter style, most of the time, spouses have their own tolerances and annoyances when it comes to clutter and cleaning. Here is how to prevent the clutter from driving you both apart.
Are you someone who could live in the middle of a chaos of clutter while your spouse has to have everything neat as a pin? Or do you both hate clutter but don’t have any motivation to change it? Perhaps you are both obsessive over making sure that there isn’t a single piece of paper out of place. Whatever your style, you need to make your marriage and not the clutter be the focus.
I recently met a new friend and was invited over to her home. The house was gorgeous. There were a couple of toys and kids drawings laying about, but this gave the sense of a family living there. A little while into our visit, we bright the kids outside to play in the backyard. Her husband came home for lunch during this time.
A little later it was time for me and my kids to head out. But we were delayed when I couldn’t find my keys. My new friend’s husband had taken them off the kitchen counter and hung them up on a hook. He had a low tolerance for clutter and the fact that the keys were laying there caused him distress. My new friend later confessed that there is some conflict between them about the level of clutter that the kids generate and how she just can’t keep up with his standards every minute of the day.
A conflict about clutter can quickly escalate into a bigger conflict in the marriage. Some sort of discussion and negotiation needs to happen, with both spouses feeling responsible for the outcome. Compromise should be made on both sides, but in my experience a better outcome is had when the person who doesn’t mind the clutter gives in a little more. That said, there are ways to keep both spouses happy:
- Tackle the project together
- Don’t nag
- Hire outside help
- Designate one space that is clutter free or one space where clutter reigns
- Create a system to keep clutter under control.
You can read more blog posts by Mary Ann Romans here!
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