What do you do when your marriage has experienced a communication breakdown? It happens to the best of marriages, so it might be helpful to plan for these occasions ahead of time.
I will admit it has been an issue in my marriage lately. When this happens it is almost always because of a stressor, particularly with our children.
What we have been dealing with lately is a lot of emotional ups and downs, now that we are facing the departure of our oldest son. He will be leaving in just under three weeks for basic training in the Air Force.
At times we are crabby, sad and scared. So we allow our emotions to dictate our behavior and it results in senseless arguments and disagreements.
However, we have also learned to plan for these times. We came to realize many years ago that they should never take us by surprise. Otherwise you might get the sense that something is wrong with your marriage.
We know it’s not our marriage. It is just the stressor (which at this time is the leaving of our firstborn), which helps us to not take things personally.
Although our communication hasn’t been the best, we haven’t stopped talking or trying. Sometimes couples will just stop speaking to each other, but that is dangerous.
Even though I sometimes mess up and snap back at my husband, we both try again. Even though he sometimes ignores what I have said (making me feel like my feelings have been dismissed), we both try again.
Communication breakdowns happen. They are a normal part of marriage. The key is learning how to navigate them.
Don’t take it personally. Don’t give up. And never, ever stop trying to fight for your marriage. Once the issue has passed or resolved itself, you will end up being stronger in the end.
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Responding Instead of Reacting
What You Shouldn’t Say to Your Husband
Photo by rileyroxx in Flickr