“I had to have some to calm myself down,” my nine-year-old sobbed. “They [her brother and sister] are eating my very favorite candy in front of me on purpose and it’s going to be TWO YEARS before my braces come off and I can have it again. So I had to take some cookies to calm myself down.”
Whoa.
It’s not that the statement is shocking. My friends and I have commiserated with each other over our tendency to eat under stress, when alone, or otherwise emotional. It’s even become a pop culture joke—witness all the T-shirts and coffee mugs saying, “Just give me all the chocolate and nobody will get hurt” or “Snack Attack”. Commercials urge us to “give ourselves a break” by eating a Kit Kat bar.
More seriously, my diet group has talked about ways to cope with stress by soothing senses other than our taste buds. No one finds these conversations unusual. It’s taken for granted that even people without a specified eating disorder like bulimia or anorexia can develop some very unhealthy patterns of using food.
It just seems so bizarre to hear that statement coming from a child. My child.
The incident focuses more importance on my own efforts at healthy eating. When I wrote out my reasons to lose weight, I mentioned setting a good example for one’s children. It’s time to take a look not just at what weight I am modeling, but what eating and exercise behaviors I am modeling.
This cuts two ways. It is easy to go too far the other direction. Too many kids today begin obsessing over body image at a very young age. Some studies indicate that weight loss efforts by mothers and fathers promote excessive concern with weight in their children.
I think it may be time to focus not just on what we eat, but when. In our hectic lifestyles, we often snack on the run. But we can try to stick to one morning and one afternoon snack.
Maybe I can use the kids’ love for Little House on the Prairie books and DVDs as inspiration. “Notice,” I will say to the children, “how they never have snack time?”
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