Despite attempts in my youth to get excessive and extreme, I have finally learned at middle age that I am a hopeless moderate. When I was 17, 18, 19 years-old, I would have died if anyone had called me ‘mellow,’ ‘moderate’ or ‘balanced.’ Now that I am over forty and I am increasingly coming to terms with who I actually am (at least for this stage in my life,) I realize that moderate pretty much describes my approach to just about everything. While I do not think I am completely lacking in passion and exuberance and I really do not want to think I am boring—I have to admit that I am not excessive, addictive or extreme either. In other words, I am NOT Erin Brockovich.
There is a stereotype of the passionate and hot-blooded single mom and I am definitely not that. Instead, I am someone who does not want to work too hard or too many hours, who tends to take months before she loses her temper, and who can generally see multiple sides to every argument or disagreement. That does not paint much of a passionate, extremist picture I am afraid. In fact, I can be so moderate I have realized that my kids’ friends often comment that I am one of the “mom-est” moms of anyone’s parents they know. I am not sure exactly what that means, but I gather it means I am rather mellow.
The trick with being mellow and moderate, however, is to NOT be boring. At least that feels like the fine line to me. While I am busy not getting excited about things and letting life roll on by, I have to be careful that I do not forget to get excited when the situation demands it. I do attribute much of my mellowness to my adventures as a single parent, I have to confess. After all, with all of the trials, tribulations and challenges, it is easy to get to a place where one feels like she has just about done it all and seen it all. While this may not be true, it is definitely part of the making of a moderate single parent.