A couple of months ago I confessed that I was a stay-at-home wife and I explained how that had happened. I also admitted I was embarrassed about it, and laughed at an article that suggested stay-at-home wives were a new “trend.” Oh yeah, for a while there I was on a stay-at-home wife kick.
I plan to revisit the issue briefly with some confessions about my life as a stay-at-home wife. As usual, comments are welcomed. I’ll be curious to hear what some of you have to say about this blog.
Confession #1: Sometimes I Feel Guilty
It’s not like I sit at home all day lounging on the couch popping bon bon after bon bon into my mouth. I spend the majority of my days writing. Either for Families.com or my fiction.
But there are days I feel guilty about the luxury of being able to pursue my dream and live this lifestyle. Either Wayne will come home exhausted from his job and too tired to do the things he loves to, or I’ll see a hard working woman come home from a frenzied day on the job to have to tend her household.
I can usually soothe my guilty complex with respect to Wayne by fixing him a nice meal, walking the dog for him and letting him go to bed early. (Or just by letting him go to bed if he’s been working late.)
As for the harried working mom…I have to remind myself she chose that destiny just as I chose mine. Not everyone would like to stay-at-home.
Confession #2: “Do you ever worry that…”
YES! However you might fill in that blank, I’m 99.9 percent positive I’d answer, “Yes!”
Perhaps the biggest one I ever worry about is what will happen to me if something happens to Wayne. This fear is ignited every time he has to travel for work, like he did earlier this week.
But I don’t worry so much about how losing him would affect me financially. We put a contingency plan in place in case of such a thing. I do worry how I could ever go on without him. I hope I never have to find out!
Confession #3: Could I Be Doing Something More Meaningful?
This one gets to me. If I went to a nine-to-five job for the sake of bringing in more money, I wouldn’t feel that was necessarily more meaningful. But I do wonder if there’s a job out there where I could be helping people and earning a steady income. Or at least just helping people.
But then a funny thing happened this year. After having my mom come live with us and going through all we went through with her, I now see how I can use that to help others. (By writing about it and the lessons I learned along the way.)
Confession #4: The Resentment Factor
Sometimes I worry Wayne will wake up one morning resenting me for having lived my dream when he never got a chance to. Not that he’s had one burning desire his whole life like I have with writing, but maybe one day he will pinpoint his passion and want to pursue it.
I keep hoping when that day comes I’ll have become a financially successful author. One who can support her husband in the manner to which he’d like to become accustomed.
Confession #5: I Probably Wouldn’t Be a Stay-at-Home Wife for Anyone Else
This one surprised me, because it just came out as I was writing this blog. But as I think on it, I probably wouldn’t do all the things I do for Wayne for anyone else.
See, the couple times we broke up pre-marriage and I dated others, I grew annoyed with them. For one, I knew Wayne was the one and those other boys were just diversions.
But for another, I’ve never seemed to have the patience for other guys like I do for Wayne. Their little quirks quickly got on my nerves. I was happier being single.
Which I might have stayed if Wayne hadn’t come around and realized what I’d known all along: we were meant to be together.
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