The preteen years can be filled with surprises…some good and some not so good. The way a parent chooses to navigate these years could significantly impact the next stage, as they move into the teen years.
One of the most important things you can do during this stage is stay connected with your preteen. This won’t always be easy; depending on how much havoc hormones is having on him or her. And your preteen’s personality will also play a role.
All I can tell you is that the struggle with be worth it if you can still maintain a connection. It doesn’t mean you will always agree. It doesn’t mean you won’t engage in battles.
In fact, you may acquire a few battle wounds. Some may leave scars. But in the end, this stage will pass and if you have managed to keep that connection, it will make the teen years a bit more manageable.
So what do I mean by staying connected? First, choose your battles. It’s something I mention in many of my blogs but it’s so important.
Remember that for every battle you choose to fight, there is the chance that things will be more difficult to repair. It doesn’t mean your preteen gets to do what they want or act like they want. But make sure the battle is worth it before you engage.
The second way to stay connected is to talk to your preteen. Make yourself available. Learn when your preteen is most likely to open up. Is it right before bedtime? After you have picked him or her up from school? While running errands?
Your preteen will sometimes act like they don’t want to talk. And in fact they may not want to. But be ready when the opportunity does come. Drop whatever you are doing and give your preteen your full attention.
Lastly, let your preteen know you love them and are proud of them. Sometimes they do things that exasperate us. They can sense our disappointment and negative feelings.
But it’s so important you demonstrate love to them through your words and actions. Point out the positive things you see in them.
The preteen years can be a challenge. But if you stay connected, you will both come out of this better prepared for the next one.
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Photo by GoodNCrazy in Flickr