One very practical concern when adopting an additional child may seem minor at first, but may become a deciding factor in the major decision of what type of adoption to pursue and from where. I refer to the necessity of, and arrangements for, travel.
Even in a domestic adoption, you will travel to the child’s state of birth or residence. If the child is older than a few months, you will likely be urged to stay for a little while, allowing for pre-placement visits in which you gradually spend more time with and assume more care for the child before actually taking his away from his environment.
Different countries have different requirements for adopting parents’ travel. Some countries have the option of having the children escorted home. Some countries require only one parent to travel; others require two. Some countries require two trips, one to see the child and affirm the decision, and another to appear in court. Length of stay in country may range anywhere from five days to eight weeks. Some countries have a fairly predictable period of stay, others have an uncertain timeline–courts may be crowded or closed for random events, making it possible you will be in country much longer than you expected.
You need to consider whether you are comfortable leaving your children with relatives while you travel to receive the newest sibling. Do you need to choose a country with a fairly predictable length of stay?
Perhaps if you have a relative who can care for your child, they would like to come with you. Many adopting parents advise enlisting the aid of another person. If you can afford for an aunt, uncle, grandparent or friend to travel with you, it will be a great help in having someone to mind the older child. “You need to be fully present to what’s happening,” says one adoption counselor.
My next two blogs will include more information on how travel requirements can influence your decision of how and where to adopt and whether you bring your child with you.
Please see these related blogs:
Traveling to Our Daughter, Part One
Feelings about Countries Closing to International Adoption
Books for Siblings Dealing with Special Issues in Adoption