I spoke with a mom recently whose only child is autistic. She wants more children, but the specter of disabilities looms large.
Should parents of special needs children tempt the fates with a second or later pregnancy? The answer is often as unique as the families considering it.
The issue is more clearly cut for parents of children who have serious or genetic health issues. As much as we love the children we have, none of us would knowingly inflict a life of illness or pain on our offspring.
The line begins to grey, however, with developmental and autism spectrum disorders where the affected may maintain a good quality of life, despite inborn challenges.
While having one child with a developmental disorder may increase the odds of affliction in later children, it isn’t always the case. Many parents of special needs children go on to have others who are completely typical in function. But of course, others may have multiple children affected by disabilities in varying degrees. That is, they may be less, or more profoundly affected than the original child.
The issue with developmental disorders is we don’t entirely understand what causes them, and there are likely to be multiple sources. Some of these are genetic and more likely to repeat, while others are more of a fluke of unknown origin.
So what’s a special needs parent wanting to expand their family to do?
Talking to a neurologist or other specialist about your concerns may help allay fears. He or she may be able to give you insight about the likelihood that your child’s particular disability might repeat in a sibling, and to what degree this is a concern.
At the end of the day, however, we must accept there are no guarantees. Not for anyone.
Does your desire for another child outweigh the fear? Will you find equal joy in a new life no matter what happens? Then take the chance and roll your dice. The risks are there, but the reward is amazing.