Words have the power to heal or to hurt. The words we choose to utter have a profound effect on the recipient and on the sender. We should always strive to speak in positive terms. This is especially true of the words we speak to our kids. Not only words that we might throw out in anger but also words we use in our everyday conversation.
I’m reading a book called Who Moved My BlackBerry? It’s a satirical look at the corporate world told entirely in a series of email and text messages. I thought it might be fun to read since I just bought a BlackBerry. Anyway, the major character in the story, Martin, has an executive coach, Pandora and they are working on making Martin “strive and thrive”. As I said, it’s satirical but there was this one email message from the coach that had a ring of truth to it. In the message, she talked about selecting the write words.
“Don’t say you’re exhausted. Say you’re RECHARGING. Don’t say I hate. Say I PREFER. Don’t say failure. Say LEARNING. Don’t say angry. Say A LITTLE BIT CONCERNED!”
We can use the same idea when we are talking to our kids. Simply selecting a more appropriate word may be the difference between war and peace. Even a simple word like “no”. We say it all the time. We get tired of saying it and our kids get sick of hearing it. However, there are ways of saying “no” without actually saying it. Sometimes when Tyler wants candy or some other sweet, instead of saying “no”, I can avoid a meltdown by telling him he can have the treat after lunch or dinner depending on the time of day. I find this works better than saying, “No, you can’t have it.” I will even let him hold on to the coveted prize until after he eats!
Choose you words carefully and you can avoid many problems in your interactions with your kids. As Pandora encouraged Martin, “Try it for a day or two and tell me about the difference.”
See also:
The 3 C’s Of Effective Communication
How Well Does Your Family Communicate?
Parents Watch The Non-verbal Message You Send Your Kids