As I wrote about in yesterday’s blog, this year has been one string of black cloud days after the other. I’ve shed plenty of tears and had days where I’ve been gripped by such fierce depression it’s been hard to get out of bed and act half-normal.
But you know what’s pulled me through? (Besides my angels and my animals. Both have been there when I needed them most.) These two things:
- 1. The “we” factor, and
- 2. The sunshine factor.
The “We” Factor
Most of this year’s troubles have been mine. At any point, Wayne could have shrugged and said, “Not my problem. Have fun dealing with all that.”
But he didn’t. He hasn’t always been happy with all of my decisions handling certain black cloud events this past year, but he’s supported me once they’re made. With him standing by me, lending me his shoulder, and holding my hand along the way, sometimes even carrying me when I just couldn’t take one more step, I’ve been able to muddle through.
But there’s something else that’s helped. An observation I made when we flew home from Alaska.
The Sunshine Factor
One of our legs home was from Minneapolis to Detroit. We left Minneapolis in sun, but en route to Detroit our view of the ground became obscured by clouds.
When we were above the clouds, we had plenty of sunshine and blue skies. But when we passed through the clouds to make our descent into Detroit, the skies were gray.
It hit me how eventually those clouds would part. Maybe it would be later that day, maybe not until the next day, but the skies would clear and the sun would shine again. And even though I couldn’t see the sun or the blue skies through the gray clouds, I knew that’s what was on the other side. I’d just seen it.
That’s how I started looking at my black cloud. I can’t see the sunshine on the other side, but it’s there. Just like Wayne’s love. I can’t always necessarily “see” it, but I know it’s with me.
Which takes us back to the “we” factor. He hasn’t let me stand under my black cloud alone. He’s stood next to me, bringing his sunshine to try and penetrate the darkness I just can’t seem to shake this year. It helps, because if nothing else it reminds me there is blue sky and sun on the other side and eventually the cloud will part.
Courtney Mroch writes about animals great and small in Pets and the harmony and strife that encompasses married life in Marriage. For a full listing of her articles click here.
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Photo credit: Joseph Hoban, photographer. 
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