When I started to write this, I was really thinking about KIDS with short tempers and what a challenge it can be on an otherwise peaceful household. But, then I realized that there are plenty of short-tempered parents out there too. In fact, sometimes our kids learn that temper tantrums are a reasonable way of expressing oneself from us parents! I decided to expand the blog to talk about short tempers and temper control all around as a family issue…
Having a short-temper does NOT mean that a person has anger management issues. In fact, getting upset is normal and healthy in most cases—it is what we do with that anger that can cause problems. Not to mention, while some people are short-tempered as a part of their core personality, others might exhibit short-temper behaviors when they are overly tired, getting sick, stressed out, or for other temporary reasons. Determining whether the outburst or the short-temper is due to something brief, or is going to be a regular reality is the first step—then you can start to brainstorm ways to avoid and cope.
Short-tempers in very small children can be somewhat expected. As children get older and develop more communication skills, we can help them learn how to express their frustrations without temper tantrums. Additionally, since people with short tempers often go from mildly frustrated to very angry very quickly—learning how to recognize feels of frustration BEFORE they get out of control is extremely helpful. A child (or adult) can learn to take a break, remove himself from a frustrating situation, go for a walk, sing a little song, count backwards—there are all sorts of “tricks” and coping mechanisms to help people hold onto to their tempers—no matter how old they are.
It is also important for a parent who is dealing with a short-tempered child to NOT get sucked into the fits. Trying to control them once they are underway is usually pointless and while we can learn some distraction and avoidance techniques, eventually it is the child who needs to learn awareness and self-control. A parent, however, can learn what he or she might be doing to fuel the outbursts and work at not getting linked in with the process.
Also: Who Needs the Attitude Adjustment–You? Or Me?
Creating a Positive Home Evironment