Andrew Capellanus wrote his rules of Courtly Love in the late twelfth century and eight centuries later as we enter the twenty-first, these rules seem as apropos to the now as they were to that “romanticized” yester-year. We can learn a lot from these ‘rules of courtly love.’ Take a look at these rules of courtly love in light of our cultural entertainment and how that might affect our views of relationships.
1. Marriage is no excuse for not loving.
In the modern day soap opera, the loveless marriage is a cliche’d plot device often used to keep two great lovers apart. The loveless marriage is either a result of some need that is honorable, or an act committed in anger. Often times, it is the loveless marriage that must be overcome so that the two great lovers can be together again.
2. He who is not jealous can not love.
Jealousy is a also a very strong plot device within most soap operas. It is the motivator to propel a story forward or to throw an obstacle in its path. In many instances, the jealousy is something that causes character flaws to appear or for a relationship to be tested. In the so-called “super couple” it is sometimes the only way to break up the couple to create the conflict that allows them to fight to be back together. Ultimately, the U.S. soap opera is about the driving force of love, family and commitment. Jealousy and two lovers go hand in hand within the scope of a storyline.
3. No one can be bound by two loves.
The love triangle is a particularly strong plot device. This will also be an excellent example for a later rule. But within the love triangle whether it is two men vying for the same woman or two women vying for the same man, the third person is only there to create an obstacle. Genuine caring may exist, but the true love is only between one man and one woman, at least in this example.
4. Love is always growing or diminishing.
This rule is rather obvious in its entirety and requires little in the way of interpretation. However, in looking at the rule, it seems rather simple yet at the same time it has a complex effect on a storyline or on a person. It is possible to love deeply, but find that passion diminished and not retain its strength while at the same time, another’s love can grow so strong and possessive as to border obsession. Both of these create conflicts within the canvas for a storyline.
5. It is not good for one lover to take anything against the will of the other.
This rule seems to be more a code of behavior rather than of love itself. Whether it refers to the act of physically taking something or emotionally taking, it has equal weight. The biggest identity crisis of a soap opera was faced when General Hospital addressed a twenty year old storyline of one of its greatest “super couples” and the fact that Luke raped Laura in a scene that many, including the characters tried to forget. The storyline was responsible to the issues of all involved as well as the regrets associated with the act, and while it took twenty years for them to do it, it possessed an impact that might not have been present twenty years before.