6. A male cannot love until he has fully reached puberty.
Good rule. Children must grow up in order to understand and experience a mature relationship.
7. Two years of mourning for a dead lover are prescribed for the surviving lovers.
When one half of a beloved couple is killed off or opts to leave the show and is there for appears to be “dead” most audiences have a hard time accepting the survivor with anyone but the deceased. Edmund Grey of All My Children was part of an immensely popular super couple. When his “wife” opted to leave the show and was killed off in an apparent plane crash, it took more than five years of storyline to bring Edmund back into a relationship that the audience could accept and root for.
8. No one should be deprived of love without a valid reason.
On a soap opera, a successful relationship often means back burner storylines and no front burner scenes. I.E. a happy couple without conflict is considered a boring entertainment. The valid reason on a soap to deprive someone of love is to keep the audience interested.
9. No one can love who is not driven to do so by the power of love.
Genuine caring and love can redeem even the most villainous of characters. Whether they are complaining the whole way, they are driven to do the things they must because of the love they feel. A case in point example of this would be Spike on Buffy the Vampire Slayer, who is compelled against his own nature by the depth of feeling he possesses for the lead character Buffy. It is a treat to watch him chastise himself for making a fool out of himself once more, yet at the same time, he cannot “not” do the things he does because of how much he loves her.
10. Love always departs from the dwelling place of avarice.
Welcome to the Dark Side! Couples can and do break up over the heinous acts of a partner, no matter how much they may still care about the individual, they cannot abide by their actions.
11. It is not proper to love one whom one would be ashamed to marry.
Another crises of conscience, whether it is others frowning on the character’s choice or they themselves, this creates a conflict that must be overcome by audience and characters alike. As in the above example, Buffy Summers is distraught over her attraction to Spike. Formerly an enemy, then an unlikely ally and now an almost unwilling paramour, she has to overcome her own emotional roadblocks as well as the repudiation of her compatriots were they to discover that she is beginning to reciprocate his once unwelcome advances.
12. The true lover never desires the embraces of any save his lover.
The use of the old plot device seems to crop up here, as it has with all the other rules, the true lover may end up with another, but they can and often do fantasize about the one they truly wish to be with.
13. Love rarely lasts when it is revealed.
Unrequited love is far more interesting in a storyline than the happy couple. It is often necessary to break up the couple in order to “re-ignite” the flame between the two. Only fairy tales and Disney dispute whether this indicates that humans thrive on conflict or are more entertained by conflict than they are by happy endings.
14. An easy attainment makes love contemptible: a difficult one makes it dearer.
This is the absolute definition of a super couple on daytime and nighttime television. When a couple must overcome numerous obstacles to maintain their relationship or even be together, they are more worthy of praise than a couple that falls together in one swoop and lasts without major obstacles. How romantic a notion is it that the couple that doesn’t have to save the world really doesn’t have a lot to overcome in a relationship? It is the tedium of day to day that is unappreciated while the grandiose is.
Looking at our perceptions in this light, is it any wonder that we get confused about relationship dynamics and issues? More to come! See you later today.