In a house full of little stinkers, who do you blame when a bomb explodes? That is the dilemma I found myself in this weekend.
Lucky for me I have a bad nose. I don’t always smell the odors Murphy, Mr. Meow, and Tabby (and Wayne) freely share. But Wayne does.
The SBD Release
It was a peaceful Friday night lounging on the couch watching TV after a nice dinner out.
Suddenly, Wayne springs up from his couch with his nose all scrunched up and shouts, “Ewww! Someone stinks. Bad!”
He Who Smelt It Dealt It
I’d seen the salad Wayne had packed away at dinner. And the two loaves of bread. And his entire bowl of spicy pasta.
“Are you sure it’s not you?”
“No! I’d know if I cut one, don’t you think?”
(I would think, but I also know it wouldn’t be the first time he tried passing off his gassy pants ways on the pets.)
Evacuation
Then it hit me. (Not who’d dealt it, but the actual dealing.) It was my turn to jump off my couch and flee from the toxic fumes.
“Wow, that’s rank. Who did it?” I asked as we raced into the kitchen to let the front room air out.
I knew it wasn’t me, and even though it had come from Wayne’s side of the room, I was pretty sure that was an animal-based bomb. But whose?
Three to Choose From
Both cats were in the room, and so was Murph.
The latter had been laying on the floor with his body against Wayne’s couch and his head near mine. Tabby had been on Wayne’s lap. Mr. Meow was on the other side of the room, so he was exonerated by default this time.
My money was on Murph.
Wayne blamed Tabby.
They’re Not Telling
Other than to give us confused looks about why we were making such a commotion (or in Mr. Meow’s case, a grouchy look for disrupting him), Murphy and Tabby revealed nothing.
Not like we could do anything about it anyway. When you gotta toot, you gotta toot. But it’d be nice to have a little warning in the form of an audible toot so we weren’t suddenly surprised by an odor afoul.
Courtney Mroch writes about animals great and small in Pets and the harmony and strife that encompasses married life in Marriage. For a full listing of her articles click here.
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