I’m not quite sure if I invented a new sport but I got quite a work out wrestling my shop vac yesterday. Tell me I am not the only one who has ever gone nose to hose with a shop vac. Normally I don’t use the R2D2 look a like but I had no choice as my vacuum broke. What’s a girl to do with four kids, one dog and a broken vacuum? Should I have let the fur and crumbs get waist high? I think not. I substituted my sleek dainty vacuum for my husband’s boxy rotund shop vac for the day’s vacuuming chore. I’m sure that was quite a site to behold in itself…a woman using a shop vac to pick up the daily mess of a dogs and kids inside her living room.
So, there I was, dragging in this little rotund bulky thing with a huge hose like an elephant trunk into my living room. My kids and my dog look at me as if I have gone mad. When I hit the on switch all of them, dog included, ran for their lives up the stairs. Note to self: when I need some alone time run the shop vac. I was a bit taken back by the thunderous sound it emitted myself. But, a girl has to do what a girl has to do, so I picked up the elephant truck hose and started to suck up the crumbs and dog fur. The suction was so great I let go a little and the nozzle flipped up and grabbed a good portion of my hair. I pull the hose and it sucks my hair back up…I pull the hose harder and it sucks my hair back up faster. Fighting against the baldness surely to occur, I pull as hard as I can and then…then…realize what a ditz I am. All I had to do was push the off button. About 50 hairs lighter and a few shades of embarrassment redder, I tackle vacuuming the couch.
It was then I saw some type of shiny material being drawn to the nozzle like it was caught in a tractor beam. Before I could grab it out of harms way, I notice it’s Sarah Sparkles’ best outfit. Sarah Sparkles is my 4 year old daughter’s Build a Bear. I am sad to report I could not save the outfit. The shop vac sucked the outfit in whole without remorse or so much as a burp. I decide it’s best not to report this to my daughter just yet. Why didn’t I just open the shop vac to retrieve it? Well…my husband had used it last in the garage. Yuck!
About 50 hairs light, one Build a Bear outfit short, and a bit out of breath from lugging this contraption around, I head over to the stairs. I feel the hose being pulled to it’s limit, so I let go to grab the vac to bring it closer. Just then the nozzle attaches itself to my shirt. Let’s just say I’m thankful I was wearing an undergarment, if you know what I mean. I never thought of using a shop vac to double as a breast pump before but my old breast pump couldn’t touch the suction on this baby.
That thought is interrupted by the sound of something else being sucked into the the hose of the shop vac. How much can be lost in one day? Haven’t enough things be taken before their time during this one chore? I take a quick look to see that it’s my son’s ear buds from his MP3 player. Thankfully, I saved the MP3 player. I decide its best not to report this to my son just yet.
Finally, after loosing hair, a Build a Bear outfit, ear buds and almost the shirt off my back, I pull the hose to reach a step and SNAP! The hose detached from the shop vac. So, I took that as a sign that I was done for the day. I did reattach the hose but it is not on as securely as it was before. I decide its best no to report this to my husband just yet.
I learned that a shop vac is not always the best substitute for a vaccum cleaner. I also learned that a shop vac, like a snake, can swallow sizable items in whole. I will say that my floors are very clean and clear of crumbs, dog hair, a few odds and ends, some toys, and a few other misplaced items. All in all it was an interesting experience to say the least.