Many marriage experts debate whether or not being friends with a person of the opposite sex is healthy or a matter of playing with fire. What do you think?
A cross-gender friendship is a friendship that a married spouse has with someone of the opposite gender. There are some pros and cons to having such friendships.
On one hand, why should a spouse feel the need to give up on a long standing friendship just because he or she has gotten married? There are people that just tend to get along better with people of the opposite sex for one reason or another. Are these people then doomed not to have satisfying friendships?
On the other hand, a friendship with someone of the opposite sex can cause quite a bit of trouble. There is the fact that there is always a potential for a romantic or sexual relationship, even if they friends don’t feel this way at the moment. A strong emotional attachment could lead in a moment of weakness to something more. The line may be too easy to cross.
Also, even if the friendship is innocent, it may create trust issues with your spouse and add stress to your marriage. While your spouse may believe that there is nothing going on, he or she might still wonder what you are getting from your cross gender friendship that you can’t get at home.
My opinion is that while cross-gender friendships could work for someone who is married, there has to be a lot of communication between spouses. You should openly discuss cross-gender friendships and understand how your spouse feels about them. If you are finding yourself talking to your friend about things that you wouldn’t want your spouse to hear (which goes true for any kind of outside friendship) then this may be a warning sign to pull back a bit. And if there is an issue, your spouse should always come first.
Please share your thoughts on this topic.
Mary Ann Romans writes about everything related to saving money in the Frugal Blog, creating a home in the Home Blog, caring for little ones in the Baby Blog and now relationships in the Marriage Blog. You can read more of her articles by clicking here.
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