I am an easy crier—I cry at movies, television shows, Hallmark commercials, and I cry when I get overly tired or overwhelmed or get my feelings hurt. My kids are not always comfortable when I cry in front of them, but I have never tried to hide my tears or emotions—as long as they were appropriate. Recently, however, I was talking with another parent who said she tried to keep her children from seeing her cry and I had to confess that thought had never crossed my mind!
I am definitely from the “emotions are healthy” school of thought. Now, I know that my teenagers get annoyed when I sob at television shows and movies—but they can get over it. They do tend to tease me a bit, but I’m standing my ground. I’m in touch with my emotional side and I cannot help but think that is a good thing to show my kids.
This doesn’t mean that I share all my grown-up woes and frustrations with my kids. If I am having a really hard time and feel like having a good, cathartic sob—that is for me to have in private, but I certainly don’t feel any shame if I happen to get “caught” by one of my children. I think it is perfectly reasonable for a parent to explain that she is feeling sad, frustrated, overwhelmed, or whatever. It’s normal. I do understand, however, that extreme emotions can be scary and overwhelming for our kids—not to mention make them feel downright uncomfortable. However, with communication, reassurance, and explanation, I think we can make our ability to feel and process strong emotions (even tears) a positive thing and not something to be shunned and hid away from our children. And, this goes for moms and dads too!
See also: Have You Ever Felt Jealous of Your Child’s Other Parent?
Can Your Children Express How They Feel?