Curfew is one of those hot topics when parents of teenagers get together. When I was a teenager, I remember having a curfew and I also remember very RARELY making it home by curfew. After battles and over time, my parents and I finally negotiated some alternative curfew arrangements–it involved my having to call and check in and my curfew would depend on the event, the weather, and other specifics.
Now, with teenagers of my own, I’m on the other side of those curfew battles. I tend to go with the negotiating approach as well. My kids and I will discuss the event, who’s providing rides, who will be there, etc. I do have to have phone numbers and addresses and talk to parents if it’s that sort of an event (something at someone’s house), but we tend to set the curfew time based on each individual situation.
Then, if they miss the established curfew time and I haven’t heard from them–they know there will be consequences. Of course, my kids are older teenagers–when they were younger and just starting to go out and about, we had a more set curfew time. Plus, I was escorting them to and fro more then than I do now so I had a little more confidence in our time management.
I know parents who have a set curfew and the kids can do what they want but they have to be in by a certain time. Maybe I’m more of a control freak, because I want my kids to talk to me about their plans each time they are heading out. As I’ve tried to explain to them, I need to be able to track them if something were to happen–it’s not about my checking up on them or trying to embarrass them, it’s really just about the common courtesy, safety and responsibility of letting people know where you are and what you’re up to.
Curfews are definitely one of the challenges of parenting teenagers, and I imagine like most of the realities of parenting this age–it depends on the parents and the teens as to what works and what is necessary. I’d love to hear other opinions and suggestions and whether you curfew or don’t curfew?