During the divorce process at some point you will have to talk to your soon to be ex to determine what you both want as far as custody and parenting time (visitation) arrangements. Find a time to communicate when you can let your anger and hurt go to the wayside so that you put the needs of your children at the forefront. Every situation will be different and depending on your children’s needs and ages you will both need to determine what is best for them. Just because the adults are divorcing, the children do not have to be punished by halting or disrupting their relationship with the other parent. Sometimes mediation through lawyers or the court system is the only way to create a workable solution.
There are mainly three different types of custody arrangements:
Joint Physical Custody: This is where everything is essentially equal. Both parents have close to equal time with the children and will make all important decisions together. This tends to be the most ideal for the children so that they can experience a continuum of the type of family that used to exist and they can see that both parents are working together to meet the children’s needs.
Joint Legal Custody: This is an arrangement where one of the parents has more time with the children, but the other parent also has a say in the decision making process. Typically the mother is considered the custodial parent, although father headed single parent families have been steadily growing over the past few years. In this type of arrangement the child typically resides with the custodial parent and has visitation with the other parent every other weekend and sometimes one evening during the week. Some parents arrange for their children to stay with the non-custodial parent from Friday evening until Monday morning when the child is brought to school. This arrangement can work well if the parents live near each other, and affords more time for the child with the non-custodial parent and can help their relationship grow stronger.
Sole Custody: This is where one parent is the sole custodial parent and visitation time is typically very limited or may be monitored by court appointed personnel. This type of arrangement is the least beneficial to the children unless there has been an instance of abuse or neglect that they need to be protected from.