Custody is such a huge issue both in the single parenting world and the step family or blended family world. It was difficult to decide which category to put this in, but since blended families are usually faced with multiple custody issues, I thought this the best place.
There are so many different aspects of custody to talk about, but one of the most common series of complaints I hear is in regards to visitation and returning home. This deals with getting home late, too early, with or without their belongings, with new items and more commonly, the general transition of returning home.
The best I can suggest for returning home late or too early, is that effective communication is key. Discussing your concerns about why it is a problem for that child to get dropped off too early, which in most cases has to do with the family not being at home or available at the time, because they thought the child would return home later, is definitely a must. In regards to being dropped off too late, there is definitely cause for concern there for most parents. What if there is an emergency? What about bedtime? Dinner time? School the next day? Etc. There are many reasons that getting home late can simply be a problem for all those involved, including the chance that an activity or event is taking place that the entire family could possibly be late for. These things should be discussed. I recommend keeping a record of times the child is dropped off, if an alternative time has not been discussed. This can show an inconstancy and a problem, should there ever be a need (court) to provide this information for.
In regards to transitioning during the return back home, there are a lot of different points to consider and a lot of different ways to handle these things. Many of the points will differ depending on the child. Please see the next article in this series: When They Return: The Transition for what to look for, how to react and more articles with tips and tricks to make a smoother transition for everyone involved.
In the coming weeks I will delve deeper into many of the above mentioned situations and provide helpful hints and solutions for combating these problems.
Please visit other articles in the Blended Families section for more useful information particular to this family dynamic.