Does your husband have a weird thing when it comes to caring for the baby? I am very fortunate. My husband is a preschool teacher and so when it comes to diapers, pottying, puking, you name it. . .he’s in there up to his elbows, getting dirty. The only thing he hasn’t obviously done is help feed the baby. . .but he was right there for the post feeding spewage and burping that inevitably ensues.
But I’m running into more and more moms whose husbands have ‘things’ with the baby. For example, I have a good friend who had her first girl about 18 months ago (after four boys). Daddy still hasn’t changed the baby’s diaper. Not once. Now understand, he’s a wonderful dad. In fact, if we should suddenly parish in a car accident, this is the couple who will take our children. Let’s just hope that we don’t parish before the twins are out of diapers!
I was talking to another mom who said that her husband won’t help with the potty training of their daughter. He just feels strongly that this is a woman’s territory. So if mom goes out, into pull ups the child goes. . .because I guess dad just doesn’t do that.
Some dads don’t want to catch the baby, other dads don’t want to trim finger nails. My husband didn’t want to give my oldest a hair cut. . .even though her hair had fully grown in and she became easily confused with a mop. Lots of dads apparently won’t take their kids out in public alone, or so says my husband whenever he takes ours out. He says the wives always give their husbands an annoyed glance as if to say, “If he can do it with five. . .you can handle one!“ Whatever it is, it seems that most dads have something that just gives them the heeby jeebies.
Which is fine. . .as long as it’s not a source of tension. But when the wife is left with the bulk of the caring, and the cleaning, and the cooking–life can get really overwhelming. If your husband has one of these weird hang ups, I am sad to say that I have no magical way to get him over his hang ups. But I will share this one piece of advice:
Most dads love their baby girls. Most dads love their wives too. Parenthood is a big adjustment and some dads need to be gently nudged into daipers, puke, feeding, and burping of parenthood.
Gently nudging can include taking your husband to the pediatrician for a well child visit, or it can include inexplicably occupying yourself leaving your spouse no choice but to perform the undesired task. Or if all else fails leave a note:
I’m fine. Gone out. Will come back. Diapers next to crib. Have fun!