Children of all ages will act out when you start dating, they see your date as a potential replacement parent and your kids don’t want another parent, they want the ones they have to still be married. The best way to ease into dating is to date on the weekends your children are with their father. This way you can mention that you had coffee with a nice man you met at work, or dinner with a friend from the gym. Try not to use the word date, your kids will realize it’s a date but it will sound less threatening to them if you don’t refer to it that way.
Talk to your children, let them voice how they are feeling and let them know it’s perfectly normal to not want your parent to date anyone. Make sure they understand that just because you are dating and may one day marry again, your relationship with them and love for them will never change. Also when you are ready to introduce your children to someone you are dating, make sure you talk to them about acceptable behavior. They do not have to like this new person but they do need to be respectful to everyone.
Also, be very aware of your sexual morals. You are your child’s most important role model so you need be conscious that how you interact with the new person in your life, everything from kissing to spending the night together, your children are watching and forming opinions of how unmarried couples should act.
When you have met a wonderful person and are considering getting married, get some counseling for the kids before you blend your families. It is important that everyone understand what will happen and that your kids get to talk about their worries and fears.
There is no way to head off all problems when you start dating again but small things can make a big difference. The relationship with your children is so important and worth the work.