Within a few weeks of my divorce people were already anxiously waiting to set me up. I desperately wanted to move on with my life, but was still grieving the loss of my marriage. I battled with myself constantly. At first I just wanted to fill the void that was left when my ex walked out. I felt an intense loneliness that I wanted nothing more than to be rid of. My self-esteem was shot and I honestly thought, “Who in the world is going to want me now? I’m divorced and have a three year old. Who in their right mind is going to want to take that on?”
After my internal struggle I finally decided that I would start dating again and believe it or not these guys didn’t mind that I had baggage, well most of them. Dating with children is a whole different ball game. At first I refused to let anyone meet my son. I didn’t want him getting attached to someone and then having them walk out on him again. As time went on I didn’t feel like I could spend the time away at the expense of my son, so I decided it was time to bring him along. We are a package deal after all and if they couldn’t handle that I wanted to know early on.
As a single-parent it can be hard to find babysitters, you don’t get much alone time. My son will always come first. He is my number one priority, no matter how serious a relationship may be. If my son needs me I am going to be there rain or shine because I am a mother first. When I first started dating I felt an overwhelming amount of guilt. I didn’t want Logan to feel like his dad was being replaced. He was going through a lot and I didn’t want to do anything that would make it harder on him. At the same time I knew I needed to take care of myself and do things to make me happy too. I wanted him to be able to see a healthy relationship. I wanted him to see how things were supposed to be. The key is to find balance; to listen to your children. Be open with them and give them an outlet for their emotions. It is a confusing time for everyone, let them talk to you about what they are feeling and try to be understanding and show them that their feelings are important. Love them and listen, but don’t be afraid to find happiness again. Your happiness will be a great strength to you and your children. Cherish it and don’t be afraid to let it show.