When I was married my husband and I always worked our schedules around each other so that we didn’t have to put Logan in daycare. We didn’t see much of each other, which was hard on the marriage, but I didn’t want to leave Logan with someone I didn’t know. Both of our parents worked, they helped when they could, and they are one of the sole reasons I was able to make it through school at the time.
Now that I am divorced my ex husband and I can’t really work everything around each other’s schedules anymore. So far I have been able to avoid having Logan in daycare. My family and even my extended family have banded together to try and help out whenever they could. But now that I am getting further into my major I have less flexibility with my classes and I’m running out of options. Daycare is expensive, if you are lucky you can find someone who does it out of their home, which usually cuts some of the cost, but even then it adds up. In most divorce cases each parent is supposed to pay half of the cost of daycare, which can give some relief so you don’t have to carry the burden entirely on your own. However, in some cases things don’t go quite as smoothly. This in itself can be an added stress when searching for daycare.
There are so many things to worry about and being away from your child can be even more difficult when they are in daycare. I can’t help but feel guilty. What if he doesn’t like it there? What if the kids are mean to him? What if something were to happen to him while I was away? Am I ruining my child’s life by putting him in daycare? Now I know these fears my seem a little irrational, but all of them have crossed my mind, and I’m sure many of yours, more than once.
I feel guilty that I can’t be there all the time. Things seemed so much easier before. I never had to worry about daycare because we always had someone to watch Logan. It can be beyond overwhelming trying to figure everything out while doing the best thing for your child. In the end I have to remind myself that this is only temporary and that I am going back to school to give him a better life. Who knows it may be the best thing I ever did for him.