When we send our kids off to school, we are fully aware that bullies will be lurking there. Kids can be cruel. However, when we head out in public with our special needs children and it is the adults that stare and make rude comments, what is a parent to do?
Parents of special needs children often complain about the rudeness of strangers. Stares and comments are directed at children who are autistic, who use wheelchairs or who have medical equipment attached to them. No matter what the disability or medical issue a child has, there is never an excuse for an adult to act insensitive and cruel, but they do. And they are teaching their children to act the same way towards others who are different. If you have come across adult bullies when out with your special needs child, here are some ideas on how to handle the situation calmly.
Ignore and Move On. The easiest thing to do is ignore the stares or the comments. Sometimes giving attention to the insensitivity of others can backfire and make you look you are the one who is inappropriate. In some situations, it is best to just pretend the person doesn’t exist.
Inform and Educate. Many people, especially those who are caught staring, are just curious about your child’s condition. Some of these people are even feeling sympathy and want to reach out but don’t know how. If the opportunity presents itself, start the conversation. Explain why your child is in a wheelchair or is carrying an oxygen tank. Not only will you be educating that person about your child, but about all children and adults who have the same condition.
Hand Outs. Some parents carry informational cards with them concerning their child’s condition. When someone stares, or makes a rude comment the parent is able to simply hand the person the card telling them what their child has and where to go if they want more information on the condition. This is a quick way to get the message across without causing a scene. For example: “My child isn’t coughing because she is sick, but because she has cystic fibrosis. To learn more about CF visit www.cff.org” or “My child has autism and is having a meltdown due to overstimulation. For more information visit www.autism.org”.
Stand Up. Sometimes, if a person is just rude enough, for example cuts your child in line while she tries to maneuver her wheelchair, it may call for you to truly stand up for your child. Calling the person out on his insensitive actions will show your child that she is equal to everyone else. She will learn to stand up for herself in the future. Just be careful to remain calm. You don’t want to yell at someone who cut her off by accident, and you don’t want to teach your child to react harshly to others. You are trying to teach others how to treat people with respect, so be sure you are teaching your child the same, no matter how ignorant and rude that person may be.