Dealing with an opinionated spouse can present problems. No, I’m not married to one who is opinionated. That doesn’t mean he doesn’t have an opinion on things, but those things he does hold strong opinions about are not usually a problem as we tend to share those opinions. But I know people who are married to an opiniated spouse and it’s interesting to see how they deal with it.
Largely I’ve observed that the one who is married to an opinionated spouse does one of several things. Some become so quiet; they hardly open their mouth in mixed company or when their spouse is around. They only really get chatty when the spouse is nowhere in sight or with friends of their own gender. That’s a sad statement about their marriage if they feel it’s not worth while voicing their opinion.
Another way some people handle the situation is to let their spouse rave on and appear to be agreeing, while in reality taking not the slightest bit of notice. Then when the spouse is absent they will criticize or make negative comments about them saying, ‘You know what he or she is like. They have to have an opinion on everything.’ This is usually followed by laughter. But the situation is not funny at all.
The third way of handling the situation is the most volatile in that the person stands up to their spouse and presents an opposing argument. This is not good either for a couple to be seen to be so opposed to each other. It can leave those who witness it feeling uncomfortable, embarrassed and as if they are expected to take sides. It can leave the couple vulnerable and hard to be friends with
What is the solution? Not having been in the situation, I suspect the best way might be to not say much at the time but then try and talk to your spouse privately and explain how uncomfortable it makes you feel. My reservation with this method is that the person who is opinionated in public is often the same at home and may not listen to what is being said, as they are too fond of hearing the sound of their own voice. What do you think? How would you handle it?
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