It seems to be an inescapable fact of life. When you take your child out in public, he will misbehave. Even kids who are generally well-behaved seem to act out sometimes when they are in public. It’s almost like they are daring you to do something. Many parents, embarrassed by public eyes, are hesitant to discipline their kids when they are out, for fear that others will think they are “bad” parents. Then there are parents like me. I believe that whatever discipline technique I use on Tyler at home, I will use it in public.
Do you often find yourself out in public with an unruly child and at a loss how to handle them? John Redmond, in his book, The New Six-Point Plan for Raising Happy, Healthy Children, talks about a method he simply calls, “tickets”.
Here’s how it works. Cut three ticket-sized rectangles out of poster board and draw a smiley face on each one. Before you go out in public to the store, library or wherever, review the rules with your child. For instance, your rules might be that your child walks beside you at all times, does not touch anything without permission or does not interrupt you when you are talking to someone else. Each situation will have different rules but limit the rules to three. After you review the rules, give your child the tickets and tell him that the tickets are going to help him remember the rules. Explain that each time he breaks a rule you will take one ticket from him. If he has at least one ticket left when you get home then he can get a reward, like going outside. If he does not have any tickets left then when he returns home he will have a privilege taken away, like no television for the rest of the day.
When a rule is broken you must take the ticket without any explanation, threats or second chances. You can also add in a surprise reward if your child has all of his tickets when you leave. For instance, you might want to take them for an ice-cream. However, the author cautions that you should not give surprise rewards too often or the child will come to expect them. The rewards for behaving properly should be something that the child is already looking forward to like an outing or a privilege.
Although this works well when taking your child out it public, it can also work at home to eliminate unwanted behavior. I’ve used charts and I think this method might work better because the tickets are something that Tyler can hold in his hand and if he misbehaves he can see his stack diminish and know that when they are all gone he will have a privilege taken away as well. I definitely think I will try this method.
See also:
Taming Tantrums: Take Your Child On A Dry Run
Build Grouchy Time Into Your Toddlers Day