As your baby moves into the toddler age, then on into adolescence he or she will experience bouts of anger. The bottom line is that different children handle change and stress in a unique way. During more stressful times, one child may become quiet and withdrawn while another child explodes in fits of anger. As a single parent, you have the responsibility of teaching your child that being upset is normal but with boundaries.
Reacting to your child who is in a fit of anger with your own anger will only escalate the situation. Instead, react with a calm voice and control. Since every child has a unique personality and level of frustration, you need to find the solution that works best. For instance, when you see your child becoming angry, immediately take control of the situation. Allowing the child to continue throwing a fit only makes the situation more difficult.
The time when your child’s anger is at the highest peak, you should not try to rationalize. At this time, anything you say will likely not be heard. The first thing you need to do is stop the anger from escalating by taking control. Find a quiet place where you can place a chair or have your child go to his/her room to calm down. When you first start doing this, you may have to be firm but soon, your child will understand that these “time outs” help calm things down, making him/her feel better.
You should also look at your own actions. As much as it may be hard to consider, sometimes the very things that start children spiraling out of control is based on something we have done. As an example, if you notice your child becoming angry on a regular basis, create a journal to track the triggers for his/her anger. If the child becomes angry because of not wanting to complete a chore, then that is one thing but if the problem is due to something in particular you did, then you need to be honest and possibly make adjustments.
Part of parenting means to understand not only your child, but yourself as well. Through each phase of your child’s growth, you will be required to adjust the way you handle situations. As long as you stay consistent and aware of your actions, you will do just fine. Therefore, never be opposed to listening to your child. While he/she cannot be given free reign of the house, ask the child what is causing the upset. You may be surprised by the answer you receive.
The Inner Workings of Your Baby’s Mind: Part II
Your Baby and Emotional & Social Milestones