Have you ever done anything stupid financially or hurt someone and felt tremendous regret over your actions? Maybe it felt like a bad dream you’d hoped to wake up from but couldn’t. I imagine all of us at one point or another have done something stupid that we couldn’t undo. When we make poor choices it might feel like God is angry with us. As a result, we may pull away from Him because our shame is so great.
I had a lot of regret one weekend after having a custom ring made. I liked the design. I was forced to prepay for the ring and when the jeweler brought my piece to life, I was not happy with it. He made some modifications to improve it, but there was no joy for me. I should not have made this purchase at all. Several hundreds of dollars spent and only regret. I further elevated my level of guilt by reminding myself of all the other ways I could have spent the money. I was so upset I felt sick.
I began to wonder where my continued guilt was coming from. I didn’t think God would continue to beat this over my head. I’d gotten the point, I’d repented, and I couldn’t change anything, so why couldn’t I just move on? The guilt I was feeling was my own. God wasn’t beating me over the head with shame. I believe during this time Satan was using my guilt to discourage me from turning to God. He was tempting me to amplify my shame so I didn’t want to seek the Lord’s grace.
This wasn’t the first stupid choice I’ve made and likely won’t be the last. But I know I can either choose to sulk in my shame and withdraw from God, or I can get back up and walk in grace having learned from my mistakes.
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