When you have stress in your life or you are going through a difficult time it can be a special challenge to parent a preschooler. Preschoolers ask a lot of questions and sometimes do not understand the answer. They also sometimes do not understand why mommy or daddy is sad. There are times the preschooler may think the sadness is their fault. Preschoolers can be trying and egocentric which can be very hard to deal with during hard times.
My father in law was admitted into the hospital yesterday. They thought he may have brain cancer but as it turns out it is a severe brain infection. They cannot find the source and it is progressing rapidly. This morning he spoke but by this afternoon he was unable to talk and sadly he is in pain. It seemed to happen suddenly and without warning. It has taken all of us by surprise. A man who was known for his intellect and his strength is now incoherent and bears sunken eyes and lost muscle mass. A man who loved grandchildren enough to buy them in a store may not enjoy spending Christmas with them this year. It is a difficult time for my in laws and my husband. It is difficult on all of us. Except my 3 year old who has no idea what is going on.
My 3 year old still wants juice, watch TV, color, laugh, and play games. She still needs to be bathed, fed and put to bed. For her, life goes on. This can be a source of comfort and a source of frustration. When she cried today because her sister did not let her play with a doll or when she could not find her Hello Kitty shirt, I had to remember that she does not understand how petty these things are. I had to appreciate her innocence. I had to enjoy her laughter and willingness to color and play games.
If you are going through a hard time remember that your preschooler lacks the understanding of your situation. Calmly tell her that today is not a good day and give her a simple reason. Then give her something constructive to do or call a friend to babysit. Children express a joy that exceeds pain. Allow them to be your sanctuary and escape. Be thankful for the normalcy of getting a glass of juice. Let it remind you that life goes on and you are needed.