Ah, the mother-in-law joke. Where would we be without it? Comedians and sit coms have become very popular for poking fun at your mother in-law, and though I’ll bet she’s not as bad as the jokes make out, there is some truth to the jokes, and that is why sometimes it’s so hard to get along with them.
Traditionally, your husband has to impress your father in the beginning, but you have to impress his mom. Not only are you marrying each other, you are marrying into an entire family. This article will discuss in-laws regarding the mother in-law, and how to get through family gatherings, where everyone is likely to show up.
Mother’s tend to believe that no woman is quite good enough for their son, no matter how clever, educated, pretty, and easy to get along with you are. It will help you tremendously to remember this. You are not alone. If you have a son, you will feel the same way to one degree or another. It’s the degree that will get you. If his mother is cruel or overly nosey (to the point of seriously interfering in your relationship or the way you choose to raise your children), then you have a problem that possibly could benefit from the two of you seeking outside counseling, but this is only if the situation is truly intolerable. Most mothers-in-law are mainly a little annoying at best, and a good talk with your husband using communication skills can help you feel better about the situation-don’t be surprised if he sticks up for her, you’d want your son to do the same-but not necessarily change anything. Try no to be overly sensitive about the advice and light nagging you may be getting, and you should be able to talk to her woman to woman as well.
If the situation warrants, ask her to meet you for lunch in a public place and practice being brave enough to confront her beforehand. Let your husband know what you are planning to say. If he finds out later from her that you “blind sided” her, there will be trouble, and he will have gotten only her side of the story, which makes it harder for him to be objective. This is only advice for a situation that has gotten out of hand. Again, most in-law problems are truly just annoying; try to look at the situation objectively before you get upset. Unless she’s truly causing trouble in your marriage, take it with a grain of salt and pick your battles. You will be a lot happier in the long run.
Now about family gatherings, try to remember that it is temporary. You probably get along with at least one of your in-laws, so cut your losses and try to spend most of your time at the gathering with them. One last thought, if you approach every meeting with the family or just your mother-in-law with a defensive attitude, you are only setting your self up to be miserable. If you cultivate the idea of letting things slid like water off a duck’s back, you will be able to relax and enjoy your stay.
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