There are plenty of real life dragons for all of us to wrestle with—single parents and partnered parents alike—so many, in fact, that I think it can be a good thing periodically if we ask ourselves if we are wrestling with real issues or if we are clinging to long-gone or invisible demons or are spending our energy working on problems we have actually made up ourselves. I know this might not be a very popular way to look at things, but sometimes we single parents might be clinging to outdated modes of thinking about our lives and/or fighting battles that we have created for ourselves.
Here is how I look at it—there are so many REAL problems that we single parents have to deal with in the course of a day or a week, do I really need to be hanging on to ghosts from bygone days or creating big issues out of what I “think” might happen or might be happening, or do I need to fight with emotions that I’ve created? Even if I can convince myself there is “good reason”—it might still be made up; it might still be something that I should have let go of a long time ago!
We need to conserve our energy, rally our emotions and problem-solving skills for the genuine challenges instead of wearing ourselves out working on problems that don’t really exist (Can I really change the attitude of that grumpy woman checking me out at the grocery store? Is it really a problem if my newspaper is a half-hour late in the morning?) Being able to discern from what is real and what is a fantasy we are creating in our own minds can help us live happier, healthier, and more productive single parent lives!
Also: Is This Really a Crisis?