Pregnancy is an amazing and miraculous journey, regardless of the circumstances. This should be a time to relax and enjoy the miracle within. However, sometimes nasty comments from family, friends or even complete strangers can temporarily burst your gestating bubble.
Comments about the number of children you have are annoying. These can come from complete strangers as well as people in your life. When I was pregnant with our fourth baby, this happened to me constantly. I can’t even count how many cashiers, waitresses and other random people that commented on the fact that I was having my fourth baby. I know the average family size is two-point-something kids, but are large families really that uncommon?
Strangers weren’t the only people who commented on the number of children in our family. We knew we would encounter this from my husband’s family. As a result, he didn’t tell them until well into the pregnancy. I had to be nearly 20 weeks along before he called his parents.
That’s his way of dealing with conflict–AVOIDANCE. I have to say, I highly recommend it. We had a very peaceful first half of pregnancy this way. Of course, his family lives out of state and we rarely see them. It wouldn’t work with family that lives close or that you see often.
Comments about the gender of the new baby were nearly as frequent as comments about the number of children. Since we had three girls prior to the birth of our son, people assumed we were “trying for a boy.” We weren’t, but there was no way to convince anyone of this simple, but true fact. I got tired of smiling and saying, “Yes it’s a boy, and no we weren’t trying for a son.”
Among the most egregious are comments about the size of the pregnant woman. Years ago I worked as a preschool teacher. This was a few years before I became a mother. A close friend and co worker was expecting her second child. A father of one of our students actually came up to her and said, “Wow, you’re as big as a house!” She was mortified, and later she was angry.
How you handle nasty comments about your pregnancy will depend on many factors. One is your personality. Are you a person with a quick wit? If you are, feel free to come back with a quick and funny one liner. If you are more reserved, just ignore the comment and walk away.
The other factor is the person making the comments. It’s a lot easier to walk away from a rude cashier or old lady at the park than from your mother in law. However you decide to handle the comments, try not to take it to heart. Some people are rude, but often the person is just making conversation or doesn’t know what else to say.
Related Articles:
When Your Family Disagrees with Your Birth Plans
How to Tell Your Partner You Are Pregnant