If you have adopted children that do not look like you, you have to learn to ignore some people’s negative reactions. I am writing about the glance that turns into a stare that occasionally turns into a glare.
If you are not familiar with my family, my wife and I are 60 and 52 (Nancy’s birthday is today) and white. Our adopted children are ages two through eight and biracial. Even though they are maternal brothers, they show a lot of ethnic diversity. We look like a United Nations group.
We live in the country outside of Houston, Texas. I like where we live but there a lot of people with “redneck” attitudes. The typical incident occurs when we are “mall walking”. We walk along with the two youngest in a double stroller and the other three acting like hound dogs, easily distracted but willing to come back to us two times out of three.
When we pass people going the other way, they sometimes glance and then take a long look. It really bugs me when the long look makes them mad. When the mad look is over, they turn to someone with them, put their hand over their mouth, and say something that causes the other person to look and get mad. Sometimes, they even slowly shake their heads.
When I was younger, I might have said something really rude to someone like that. Now, I am old enough to know that doing that never accomplishes anything positive. Those of you with several young children know what herding the kids at the mall is like. I don’t have time for strangers. The important thing is that I don’t let it bother me, it isn’t worth the trouble.
Recently, I took one of my grown sons and four of the little ones to a cafeteria. I asked one of the table attendants to guess how many of them were my sons. She guessed that only the grown one was mine. I said that all of them were my sons. She gave me a really goofy look and very emphatically said, “Why?” She did not get a tip.