Some of us by nature are worriers. It’s not something we do intentionally. It’s not something we plan. It just happens. It can be more a gender think at times, but often it’s just the way the person is wired. They worry as easily as they breathe. I know. I‘m a worrier, not as drastic as some people I’ve known over the years, but still a worrier.
Sometimes these worries are valid, like worrying about the future, how I would cope without Mick if he died or if I got Alzheimer’s or some other dreaded disease. As you get older, you can tend to worry about these things more. Others are totally unfounded worries that have a zillion to one chance of ever happening. But that doesn’t stop us worrying just the same. These were the sort of worries that had me up till 2.30 am the other night.
So how do you deal with spouse who worries? Here are a few tips.
Listen to them if they want to talk about it. The key is if they want to talk. Sometimes the worrier knows the thing they re worrying about has almost zero possibility of happening and may be down right stupid. But it’s okay for them to think that. The last thing they need is for you to tell them they are being stupid. You might mention that there is very little likelihood of such things ever happening, but whatever you do don’t ridicule them for worrying or call them stupid.
Not everyone wants to talk about what is worrying them, especially if they know deep down it is an unfounded worry. So don’t try and pressure them. Just let them know you love them and are available to talk if they want to. But if they don’t, that’s fine too. Give them a kiss or a hug and show your support in practical ways without probing.
Join me for more tips tomorrow.
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