Dear Heather
I get so frustrated with my husband sometimes. I’m overweight. I have been since my second child was born. With my son, the weight just fell off, but in the last couple of years I haven’t lost that pregnancy weight with my daughter. I don’t like how I look, honestly, I feel very chunky and ungainly these days. I gained over 50 pounds and I only lost about 10 after our daughter was born and then quickly regained that 10 pounds.
A couple of days ago, I was feeling pretty frustrated and my husband said, and I quote, it’s my fault that I am this overweight. I could do something about it, but I’m choosing not to. The problem is, I walk regularly. My son is 3 and my daughter is 1. He toddles along with me or rides in the double stroller with our little one. I want to lose weight, I walk all the time, I breast feed and still the pounds don’t come off.
Is my husband right? Is it my fault? I can’t describe how much that hurt my feelings when he said that. Can you help?
– Overweight & Frustrated Mommy
Dear Mom,
I do feel your pain and I am sorry you are feeling so frustrated. It can be very painful when those we care about tell us something like your husband did. Let’s assume for a moment, that your husband’s intentions were well meaning and good-hearted. He could have been seeking to encourage you to seek other options in your weight loss efforts. A lot of women gain weight with pregnancy and when you have two very young children, your level of exhaustion may overcome your ability to get enough rest and exercise to achieve your weight loss goals.
I’m guessing you get up several times during the night and that you may not be getting the sleep that your body requires in order to properly repair and recover from a workout. Also, while walking is a good step for you, walking at a toddler’s pace is not going to be giving you a great deal of exertion. You may consider an investment in a pedometer and walking two or three times a day as you can.
For example, you may take your children out early and let your toddler walk if he wants to toddle along with you, but make a point to put him into the stroller and ramp up your own walking pace. 10,000 steps a day at a stroll is not necessarily as effective as 10,000 steps at a brisk walking pace.
You may consider locating a stroller mom group in your are or a stroller skating group. Also, be aware of what you are eating. I know that when I was worn out after the baby was born, I wasn’t as careful with my food choices as I could have been. You want to minimize excess sugars in your diet, drink plenty of water and to eat frequently – small meals every four to six hours are more effective in helping your body burn excess fat.
You have options, but you also have two little ones. You need to take care of all three of you and that means giving yourself a break now and again. Try, if possible, on one of your walks per day to go out without the kids and just let yourself walk, feel loose and take a mommy break. This may help you sleep better, burn excess calories, relieve stress and all of these are ingredients can help you to lose the weight you want to lose. You should also make a point of discussing any concerns with your ob/gyn when you go in for your check up.
I wish you all the best luck and hang in there, you’re a mom and you’re beautiful – remember those two things.
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