Dear Moms & Dads,
Nobody is perfect. It’s important to acknowledge this from the get go. Seriously, write it down daily if you have to. You’re not perfect and there’s no such thing as the perfect parent. You will make mistakes and you will make errors in judgment. You will lose your temper and you will not live up to your own expectations.
You need to accept this now so that you can forgive yourself and remember to continually forgive yourself. We’re all human. We’re all going to make mistakes and we’re even going to recognize those mistakes as we make them. It’s normal and it’s natural. The reason you need to recognize and accept all of this right off the bat.
When you can accept this and acknowledge it, you can limit your own demands on perfection in your child. Instead of reading all the books that tell you how they should be developing, you can temper your expectations to your child’s behavior, comprehension and skill development on their own. You shouldn’t expect them to be self-disciplined. You shouldn’t deny them an ego boost when they need it. You shouldn’t demand that they be more or less than who they are.
Be prepared to apologize to them when you are wrong. It’s important that your child trust your judgment and it’s a great example to them when you let them know that you can say when you are wrong. It will help them admit their own failings and apologize when they make their own mistakes. It’s important to take the pressure off of both of you and you don’t need to worry about lowering your expectations so much as giving both of you a break to be who you are – toddlers and children thrive in this type of atmosphere.
Moms and Dads thrive when they don’t expect or demand perfection from themselves. When the pressure is off, you can all enjoy being a family and developing your family life, experiences and more together and there are far fewer chances for abuse – emotional, mental or physical.
Have a great day!