Since becoming involved in the adoption community, completing Home Studies, and conducting seminars, I noticed that many individuals were often confronted with certain fears when thinking about adopting domestically. These same fears surrounding adoption are often the greatest myths as well, often preventing a couple from deciding on adoption to build a family. I believe that it is important that people understand what these myths are and even why they become myths in the first place. Therefore in the next few posts we will discuss these myths. Please keep in mind that the myths that I will be addressing surround domestic adoption.
Myth #1: The birthmother may change her mind after the baby is adopted and take the baby back.
This, of course, is every adoptive parent’s largest concern and also worse fear. Publicized cases like Baby Jessica, unfortunately, have only reinforced this myth. But in a case such as Baby Jessica the adoption proceedings were marred with mistakes from the beginning. In truth over a million cases of adoption have been completed in the past ten years and very few have been overturned in favor of the birthmother or birthfather after the adoption has been finalized. Once an adoption has been finalized the adoptive family is recognized legally as the child’s parents. The birthparents no longer have any parental rights.
However, there is one step that you can take as a prospective couple who plans to adopt to prevent this rare occurrence from happening. As a couple who is adopting it is important that you get a well respected and experienced lawyer who specializes in adoption. If possible your lawyer should also be from the state that the child is being adopted from. They will be more familiar with the adoption laws of that state than a lawyer from your own state. This is important because in most cases the adoption is finalized in the state that the child was born and adoption laws vary greatly from state to state. Finding a well qualified lawyer helps ensure that the final proceedings in the adoption are properly completed and documented within all jurisdictions, which gives you the security of knowing that the child if forever yours.
If you know of other myths that you have heard and would like addressed, please let me know by leaving a comment and I will try to address them.