I have known many single parents who in the first months and years after a divorce or death of a partner/spouse, the goal was to get life to a “normal” state. They had enough crisis and upheaval to “last a lifetime” or so they thought and they were striving to get things tamed down, predictable and manageable. Inevitably, however, we all end up facing change again and again and the time will come when it is time to make a big decision regarding whether or not to make another major life change. This can be a challenging situation for anyone, especially a single parent.
Try not to let yourself get pressured into making major life decisions and choices under stress or duress. It is important to take time to think things through and process all the fear, worry, etc. that can come along with major decisions. I have found that fear can be one of the biggest elements to wrestle with overall and getting to a place where I can think about things and make my choices objectively without being controlled by fear is the key.
As a single parent, I think it is important to process your choices and work through the life-changing options BEFORE talking to your kids about them. Consider that if something is stressful for you to think through and decide, it will be even more so for your child—especially if he or she does not feel that you are confident or in control of the situations. Talk things through with a friend or family member, and definitely take the time to weigh all of your options before you ever take the situation to your child or children.
It may also be helpful to tell yourself that decisions are not cast and carved into stone. As you think things through and decide whether to do something major (move, get a new job, get married, have another child, etc.) give yourself a little “wiggle room” to back out on any decision you may think about making. This can also help a single parent work through the process and get to a place where he or she feels confident making that potentially life-changing choice or decision.