You may know by now that denial is an amazingly powerful survival tool. Like many human coping mechanisms, it is not one of those things that is inherently good or bad, but, instead, is a survival skill that has its place. As single parents, we may find ourselves utilizing denial to help us through a particularly difficult time, but at some point, we do have to learn how to process and let go of all that denial.
Denial can show its face in many forms–in thinking that we will get back together with an ex who has left or abandoned us, in thinking that this will be the time that he or she actually shows up on time or does what he or she has promised, or in holding on to a fantasy of a “perfect life” that will take us away from all the struggles and trials we are dealing with. Okay, that fantasy can keep us getting up in the morning during tough times, but eventually, we have to face the truth and embrace reality so that we can move forward with our lives in the real world.
The thing is, even in the midst of some very strong denial, there is a part of us that KNOWS the truth. We know what is really going on and the denial is helping to keep us afloat until we are strong enough, and able to face it. Once you are in a safe and less stressed place as a single parent, you can go about the business of letting go of the denial and the “fantasy thinking” and start working on living and functioning in the real world as it really is. You may not think you’ll be able to handle it, but if you take things easy on yourself and have some self-compassion, you can start to let go of all that denial and face the pain and disappointment. It is through facing it that we are able to move on to our new, waiting lives.
Also: Making the Tough Decisions and Choices On Your Own
Boost Your Single Parent Confidence