Once you get past the baby stage and your child starts talking, you soon learn that questions are the order of the day: “Why?” “What’s that?” and “When?” become constant words and phrases, ringing in your ears throughout the day. As children get older, the questions get more complicated–developing a strategy for answering and dealing with questions will help you keep the lines of communication open, without losing your mind…
It may sound somewhat calculated to think of “developing a strategy”–but I think it is better than getting exasperated and frustrated and creating a world where your child stops asking questions. It might help to start by identifying the reason and the motivation behind the question. All questions are not created equal! Sometimes, your youngster will ask a question because he’s bored, he wants to get your attention, or he isn’t really asking to hear an answer but is just mulling and talking out loud. There are some questions your child asks that don’t really require an answer.
Then, there are those questions that your child poses that he or she already knows the answer to. I think these are best answered with a “well, what do you think?” Often, I’ve used this phrase to spur all sorts of interesting conversations and it also helps to cut back on a child who asks those questions when she’s bored or because she wants an easy answer instead of thinking things through for herself. The more you can use questions to encourage higher level thinking and problem-solving–the more you can encourage stronger communication.
What are some other strategies for dealing with questions? It all depends on the situation–having some versatility in your repertoire can be a good thing. Sometimes silliness is in order, sometimes encouraging the child to look things up or consider different possible answers makes sense. Other times, you need a quick, definite answer for reassurance or to get on with things. Being ready, being open, and knowing that answering questions is a huge part of parenting will keep you from losing your patience (and your mind) when the question borage comes your way.
See Also: The EDUCATION Blog