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Diary of an Overweight Mom: Day 13—You Know What They Say About Unlucky 13…

Morning Weight: 179.8

Well, it’s still in the 179-pound area, though I went up a few ounces. That’s okay though. Mainly because tomorrow I’m likely to be in the 190’s. Okay, I’m exaggerating, as I frequently do, but still, I didn’t do so hot today. The reason? I need to go shopping.

You know how it goes—you’re doing great. The fridge is stocked with healthy food; lots of fruits and veggies. But by the end of the week one of two things happens. Either A) You still have all the fruits and veggies left because you ditched them and opted for the sinfully yummy “stuff” instead, or B) You have no more “good” stuff left. Thus is the case this time. So my meals have consisted of bread, pasta, and a huge hamburger bun. I’ll pay for that bun tomorrow morning on the scale, just you wait. A little bun is one thing. But the monster buns, come on, nobody really needs those. Still, we buy them. Why? Well, we’re usually hungry when we shop. Maybe we’re having guests over to eat those buns and we wouldn’t want to feed them something, well…puny. And let’s be honest—we live in a society where bigger is better. Why have the regular fries when you can Jumbo size them for 25 cents more? Why have one cookie when you can buy a whole box?

All that said, I didn’t have to eat as much as I did today. I still ate less than I did before starting this diary, but I slipped some. I could lie about it, or omit some of my shortcomings. I thought about it, for a second. But why would I do that? Slip-ups, mess-ups, blunders—they are all part of life. They are all part of the journal.

There’s been a recent discussion lately about me writing for the Weight Loss Blog and also for the Food Blog. The truth is, yes, it’s sometimes hard writing for both. How would you like to be trying to lose weight and still be writing about triple chocolate brownies? But here’s the thing: I love food. I love to write about it. I love to cook it. I love to eat it. And I love to share it. Writing about food for me is a joy. And in truth it’s not much harder than watching my kids or my husband eat a chocolaty snack at night or wishing I could have one more helping of potato salad while I watch them gobble theirs up. Food and I have a relationship. And that relationship will continue until the end of my days. So the way I see it, I can still write about food. I can still enjoy food. I just have form a bit of a different relationship with it. It’s not “all or nothing.” I can eat my favorite foods, but I can’t eat a lot of them. I can bake brownies, but perhaps I’ll use applesauce instead of oil. Get my drift?

Ah, changing one’s life is not an easy process. It’s going to take awhile for me, but I’m finally on the right path. How’s your path going? Are you on the straight and narrow or have there been some curves in your road? Either way, each day is a new opportunity to make choices for your day and for your life.

Here’s how my day (bad as it may have been) shaped up:

Breakfast: Frittata with potato and red peppers, half a piece of toast

Lunch: Leftover pasta bake and 1 slice of leftover pizza from the fridge (from my husbands meal the other day)

Dinner: More leftover frittata on a BIG hamburger bun, a piece of Kraft cheese, 2 graham crackers with Nutella hazelnut spread, peanut butter and a marshmallow.

*Not horrible, but not good enough to keep the scale moving in the right direction.